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From the Audiodiary

by Johndus Beckman

supported by
Jonas Gleitz
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Jonas Gleitz Really good songwriting. Had me hooked immediately!!
Daniel Mayes
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Daniel Mayes Took me a little while to get into this album, probably with the assumption that it would be similar to The Mothership (Ten Miles Wide). It is, if you squint, but thankfully it has a life and voice of it's own. An awesome collection of songs delivered with one of the best voices around! Favorite track: Limpin' Along.
Michael Parent
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Michael Parent Fantastic solo record. Incredibly diverse and an emotional roller-coaster of an experience to listen to. Favorite track: Limpin' Along.
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1.
Everybody's waiting, I can see them shaking so stop me if I get a little out of line If you see me fading don't hesitate to shake me please don't be afraid though, I'm only nodding off Everybody's easy and everyone's in heat maybe it's the season or maybe it's just me and if we don't remember I'm pretty sure our picture will tell us everything we missed the night before Oh, my head set sail again it's such a feeling of accomplishment There's no use for food man, bring all of your booze and let's get out of body, bring your dancin' shoes and if we don't remember I'm pretty sure our livers will tell us everything we missed the night before Oh, my head set sail again it's such a feeling of accomplishment
2.
I get off of my horse I'm gonna walk for a while love me later baby cause i can't find my smile it's a shame a shame, I'll find it someday 'till then baby deal with all my dark dim days I fell off of my course I'm gonna strut for a while i don't give a damn about reality up here on my cloud I'm a dazed flake I'll wake up someday Till then baby deal with all my dark dim days My god my god what have I done? My god what have I become? I'm limpin' along
3.
So I lost another friend and once again a bond is long dead It all ends in a battle fueled twist and we all live on as planned I accost another friend and let's pretend I meant to cause this it's all part of my elaborate plan to win I guess we'll all live on as planned So tossed another friend and once again a bond is long dead It all ends in an anger fueled fit I guess we all live on as planned Now I lost another friend The last friend I ever thought it would've been It all ended in a grassy field right then and now we all live on as planned
4.
Endo 02:10
You know I've been a bad bad man you know I took it all for granted you know I've been a tad mad and you know I took it all for granted If my eyes seem a tad sad then turn 'em red with me 'round the back and we can laugh about all the sad things we can craft us a plan to save me
5.
Can't Say No 04:21
It's been so long since I've I've had a place to call my home but it's my fault, wish I could blame somebody else The little demon whispers and I can't say no I've been so lost, I'm pretty sure I'm gone for good clear the fog for another bright and shiny loss The little demon whispers and I can't say no
6.
Fingerprints 04:44
Dear diary, One more guilt on my list, one more glitch I can't fix one more bet that I can't win, one more shit I'm stepping in fill my head with your scent... One more dead to me friend, no more truths to be bent no more deaf ear to lend, no more debt, no more rent I wish this all was just pretend, I cannot be trusted One last taste of your lips, I leave no trace of fingerprints One last taste of your lips, I leave no trace of fingerprints It was you all along, you were the flower in my song It was you all along, you were the flower in my song
7.
She fooled me again,I'm so dumb and she'll do it again, I'm so numb and she's pretend, I'm so done I can't win, you call this love my days are dim, I'm so stuck and I'll never win, you call this luck and it never ends, forever fucked, I can't win and you call this love Hey Mr. old me, look at what your doing soon you will hate me for changing your tune
8.
Out Of Mind 03:17
Dead and floating out of mind, finally lonely me and I Cold wind omen's frozen eye Go ahead and blow me towards a hole in the sky
9.
Best kept in the dark best kept down best kept in the dark best kept dead best kept underground best kept down best kept underground and at last I'm at an end I reclaim my throne as the king of pretend In a crowd, but oh so alone I sit and warm your cold black stone Best kept in the dark best kept down Best kept in the dark best kept down
10.
Melophobic 03:32
I'm belligerent again and I like it I'm belligerent again I know sick and dead my end, I stumble it's so sad to say the end I know "He's doing it again" they mumble and it's happening again I know sick and dead within I crumble it's so sad to be the joke I know soon we'll all be dead and I like it and so will everyone you know and i don't give two shits, I'm done here it's so sad to crave the end I know
11.
They hold me down in my sleep and I can't move, wake or speak Them evil orbs know me well them demons thrive on my inner hell this can't be real, I don't exist my fermenting skull is a thoughtless glitch a cold cold cold nightmare, no more hope and there she was, sweet sister's ghost
12.
Sun down eat the children's vitamins slide on through the fields and glide on a light on for the children light up light up all the children, glide on for the children
13.
In Dreaming 02:39

about

This is the first of many more to come. It's a collection of songs I feel go together as a whole quite well.. Recorded within the last very bizarre year of my life. Listen loudly! It's free, but don't hesitate to pay if you want =)

credits

released October 23, 2012

All songs written, performed, recorded and mixed by John Beckman. Intisaar Jubran appears on Can't Say No, Dancin' Shoes and Suicide March. Paul Fraser appears on You call This Love. Ryan Thornes appears on Can't say no. Thank you to Will Andrews for helping with getting this thing up and downloadable. Special thanks to Drew Shreve and Chris Young for recovering my hard drive data, without you this record would not be possible.

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Johndus Beckman Seattle, Washington

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